Inviting Mara to the Table

Buddhism is rich with storytelling and art.  One prominent figure in Buddhist art and lore is Mara.  Mara is a demon who challenges the Buddha both before and after achieving enlightenment.  He tries by various means to tempt the Buddha to stray from his path.  Mara is often depicted surrounding the continuous cycle of samsara represented in this wheel of life:

All of the stories of Mara that I have heard involve a temptation presented by Mara and a reply by the Buddha indicating that he has recognized Mara's presence.  They often end with, "sad and disappointed Mara vanishes."

Two such stories together encompass some thoughts that I have been playing with for a few weeks now.  In the first story the Buddha is sitting in meditation and Mara comes to tempt the Buddha.  The Buddha recognizes Mara and greets him saying, "I know who you are and you cannot hurt me."  Mara is indignant but the Buddha continues, "You are me!"  Sad and disappointed Mara vanishes.

The second story I heard recently.  Mara comes to the Buddha and accepting defeat kneels at the Buddha's feet and says, "I accept you as the Buddha the one true master and I ask to be your servant.  Tell me what it is that you would like me to do and I will do it.  Tell me how to act and I will be it."  The Buddha replies, "No, no, no, I need you to be exactly as you are."  At the Mara vanishes.

These stories resonate strongly with where I find myself lately.  I believe they reflect the practice of Loving-Kindness towards all beings (self-included) and recognition of the perfection of all things exactly as they are in the present moment.  They remind me of a poem by the Sufi poet Rumi:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi,
    translation by Coleman Barks

I believe that the Buddhist ideal would be to invite Mara into your home (he is you after all), and to do so without the expectation that the darkness has a higher purpose.  To just sit with your self, with your suffering, with the suffering of others, and to see the deep nature that it is exactly what it is supposed to be in that moment.  Paradoxically that seems to put the suffering in context.  It is present, but not overwhelming.

Two Hands

I recently read about a very powerful practice in David Richo's The Five Things We Cannot Change.  It has been helpful for me in both my study of the duality inherent in Buddhism and in living my own life more mindfully.  This practice as described empowers me to takes seeming opposites and holds them both equally.  He uses the example of fear.

Fear can easily lead to a reactionary response, a conditioned response to avoid fear, anxiety, danger.  If I am afraid of what others may think I may act to control the situation by reacting and doing something to please others.  If I am mindful and use this practice I may act in a manner that recognizes this fear, and also honors my own needs and commitments.

I can hold my fear in one hand and my commitment to no longer act in a fear-based way in the other.  Somehow that combination seems more doable than no fear at all.

He continues:

A useful spiritual practice in any predicament is to hold both hands out, cupped, palms upward, and imagine them holding just such opposites.  We feel the light and equal weight of both, since our hands are empty.  We then say, for example, "I can serenely hold both my need for relationship and my not having one right now."

...

I have found that sometimes when I implement this practice I may act in the same manner as if I reacted, however when I mindfully act in this way I find that I am not tied to an outcome, but rather engaged in a process.  I am sure of my motives and I am not ashamed of my actions.

I honor myself by being true to myself and my own unique experience of the world.

David Richo emphasizes holding the current situation in one hand and the "power to work with it" in the other.  By doing both of these things we are able to honor our experience, but not be trapped in it.  It is a practice that acknowleges difficulties and also builds competene and self-esteem by working with difficulties as opposed to against them or in a way that avoids discomfort in our experience.  The later being impossible (see First Noble Truth).

Since this is a blog about Buddhism I will add that the seemingly opposite truth that my self, my being, my experience, etc. are also illusion.  I can hold these two truths serenely and with love in my heart.

Buddhism also teaches about dependent arising, impermanence and no-self.  In reflecting on this exercise I realize that it has been the recognition that two people having different experiences and truths can be equally "right."  The teachings of Buddhism seem to be pointing out that one person holding two "opposing" thoughts is similar to two people having unique experiences.  Both can be equally true.

The Buddha on Self-Care

If one going down into a river,
swollen and swiftly flowing,
is carried away by the current -
how can one help others across?
- The Buddha in Sutta Nipāta 2.321

When I saw this I had to share.  I have been trying to find the words to express the importance of nurses providing themselves with adequate self-care.  It has been pointed out by professors that this is something that nurses often struggle with, that nurses often have codependent tendencies, and that a lack of self-care leads to burnout and job dissatisfaction.

In my own life I have noticed in the last two years how taking care of my own needs leads to a more fulfilling life in which I am more available to help others.  I also find that I am less tied to specific outcomes and less stressed in general when I act because I want to and not because I think that a specific action will lead to a desirable outcome.

Although I have for years thought that acting (reacting) in this way was compassionate or altruistic the truth as I see it now is that I was reacting selfishly to save myself from suffering.  Many of my reactions were attempts to control the outcome of a situation.

It is my goal to act mindfully and accept that sometimes I can mindfully put my own needs ahead of those of another and trust that they will do the same.  This is empowering to both of us in ways that I did not experience as a youth.  I can see how I will both mindfully act to recognize a desire to control a situation and act out of compassion for myself.

The outcome of reaction and mindful action may look the same on paper (I may take the same action), however, when I have acted mindfully I have not regretted an action, and in some cases I have empowered others in ways reacting does not.

I am vowing to myself to act mindfully as a form of self-care
I am vowing to continue my exploration and implementation of self-care measures in my life.

The Second Noble Truth

Dukkha (suffering) arises

Dukkha does not exist in and of itself, but rather arises from other things.  According to the Buddha there is no such thing as Dukkha that is all pervasive and permanent.  It comes from somewhere.  It can only exist in relation to other things, as a result of other things.  However, dukkha is a permanent and pervasive aspect of a conditioned existence.  This distinction was explored in my discussion of the First Noble Truth.

The Second Noble Truth is that dukkha has a cause.  Buddhism teaches that the causes of dukkha are recognizable, understandable, and can be avoided.  Thich Nhat Hanh uses a great analogy in his book The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching in which he compares our actions to what we consume.  If we eat nutritious food, breath fresh air, enjoy wholesome company, etc we are nourishing our body/mind and it stays healthy and is able to do many wonderful things.  If we ingest toxins from our environment we will become sick and suffer. 

The core of the Second Noble Truth is that suffering has a cause.  By exploring ourselves we can begin to recognize the toxins we ingest that bring about suffering.  We are further able to understand what arises in us that inspires us to take in these things that do more harm than good.  This knowing allows us to make conscious decisions to avoid what causes suffering.  Avoiding the food that feeds suffering leads to the cessation of suffering.  Third and Fourth Noble Truths explore the cessation of suffering.

The First Noble Truth

Dukkha (suffering) is part of conditioned existence

What is Suffering?

Dukkha is a Pali word often translated as suffering.  According to Buddhanet.net (2010) Dukkha encompasses all experiences that are difficult to bear ranging "from extreme physical and mental pain and torment to subtle inner conflicts and existential malaise". 

What is a Conditioned Existence?

Conditioned existence is what we experience everyday.  Conditioning is the lens through which we perceive our world.  It is what reinforces the perception that I am me and that you are you.  An analogy is presented in the first Matrix movie in which the world that Neo thinks is real is actually an illusion created by a computer program. 

At first glance the teaching that life is suffering may seem like a downer.  One may ask why would anyone be interested in something that says, "life sucks"?  This is our conditioned existence speaking.  Conditioning makes the experience of discomfort a "bad" thing.  Life is not synonymous with conditioned existence.

I do not think that I was alone as a child in my thinking that a life free of suffering was possible.  I was pretty sure it would happen when I got my drivers license (that didn't do it).  I remember feeling confident that it would happen sometime during college (it didn't).  At times I thought that rich people had it (they don't).  I think you get the point.

Paradoxically having the notion that a "better" life exists and grasping at experiences that approximate such a life are the very roadblocks that get in the way of living a life free from suffering.  Let me present another example:  As a kid I hated scary movies.  I closed my eyes during the opening scene of Jaws and got so upset that my family had to turn off the movie.  I once called my parents to pick me up from a sleep over during which a bunch of people got shot with a machine gun.  

I remember when Batman the movie came out on VHS.  We rented it and I covered my eyes when my brother's said that a scary part was coming up.  I pictured a scene so horrific that I began crying and feeling nauseous.  My brother stopped the tape, rewound, and made me watch the scene with my eyes open.  The Joker electrocuted some guy and his face melted like wax off his skull.  It was so fake that it made me laugh.  I learned that day that the idea of something is often scarier than the thing itself.

Buddhism presents that dukkha is a part of life as we experience it.  This is not bad news, nor is it good news, it just is.  Sitting with the discomfort that this truth creates has been a powerful experience, and has not been as scary as going through life with eyes closed every time that I saw dukkha on the horizon.

When we recognize and acknowledge our own suffering, the Buddha - which means the Buddha in us - will look at it, discover what has brought it about, and prescribe a course of action that can transform it into peace, joy, and liberation. Suffering is the means the Buddha used to liberate himself, and it is also the means by which we can become free. -Thick Nhat Hanh (1999)

http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/8foldpath.htm

Hanh, TN. (1999). The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching. Broadway Books, New York.