Intentions

I recently attended a talk by Dr. Eduardo Duran (http://soulhealing16.com/home).  He has been practicing psychology with Native Americans for over 20 years and talked about how his style developed from a western style, which did not work to a style based on and in the culture of the population he serves.  The entire talk was amazing and touched on many different areas and I am choosing to only explore two of those areas in this entry.

Dr. Duran talked about language and intention.  He pointed out that a major difference between English and most aboriginal languages around the world is the focus on nouns.  In English we refer to people as things (e.g. "there is a woman"), while other languages would say "womaning is here."  The difference is not just semantics, but rather a frame of mind.  Nouns are seen as living entities!  Entities with their own life.  Therefore, it is no surprise that someone labelled as "woman" is expected to live up to the stereotypes associated by culture with "woman."

This is drastically different from a culture in which a term such as "womaning" is used.  In such a context "womaning" is a dynamic state which exists currently while not labeling and therefore limiting the person.  He also described the use of nouns to label people in his own practice.  If you diagnose and label a person as "depressed" or even "diabetic" that person takes on the label as part of them.  The noun becomes a living entity within them.  Nouns also have more permanence than verbs and therefore are more persistent through time.

Dr. Duran works with people to "move along" things that are stuck.  This wording recognizes the nature of energy which can neither be created or destroyed, but can be transformed.  One tool that he uses is looking at intention.  An example he gives is alcohol which can be used ritually to bless (eventurning into the blood of God in some traditions).  Alcohol can also be used with the intents of forgetting, avoiding, numbing, etc., and in such a context is poison.

I have noticed a shift in intentions in my own life which has been troubling me lately.  I did not have a context to put this struggle in, but I believe it is part of what has been blocking my writing lately.  One of my major self-care rituals for the last year has been a daily Yin Yoga practice.  I have been amazed at the difference in how my body feels, how clear my mind is, how calm I am in stressful situations,and even how steady my handwriting and speed of my reading increase when I have completed this daily ritual.  I sleep sounder and generally wake up more rested than I used to.

Originally I thought of this practice as a way to love myself and honor my body.  Over the last few months I have missed about one day a week and I have noticed the difference late in the day and the following day.  I have described it as returning to what used to be my baseline, except now it is painful and frustrating.  It has caused me to be judgmental about missing opportunities to do Yoga and to do the practice for the sake of doing it rather than as a method of intentionally loving myself.

I now see that my attention and intention shifted from self-love and self-care to an intention of avoiding discomfort.  The daily Yin practice has never been "easy" and has always represented a challenge, but with this shift in intention the practice has become even harder and less loving.  I am confident that I will return to a spirit of self-love and I think that the knowledge gained from Dr. Duran's talk and other recent experiences are invaluable in this pursuit.  It is my intention to love myself by refocusing my efforts on loving all the aspects of myself including the part of me that wants to avoid discomfort.  I think that my body has a lot to teach me and I am returning to a spirit of listening to what it has to offer.